Imagine that you go out on a date with a gorgeous man. Your chemistry is sizzling and the dinner conversation riveting. As the evening dies down you may even land a kiss. All in all a dream date, right? Everything seems perfect until you never hear from Mr. Hot Pants again.
Two days. Three days. What went wrong? You agonize over what you did wrong before you send a text message. Another day goes by and you message him on Facebook. Your mind is racing with scenarios. Maybe he was in a terrible car accident. Maybe it’s actually you—or your chipped nail polish, or your breath. Another day goes by and in desperation you leave a message on his answering machine. He never returns your call. Finally you accept the truth—he’s avoiding you.
For most people this is good enough. We ache at the rejection and then move on. For other people, this isn’t good enough. They are the bold, the dense ones, those who are so smitten, they hold out in the hopes that Mr. Perfect will come around. Foolishly they call the local radio station for help.
One of the guilty pleasures of my morning commute is a radio feature called Second Date. It’s an opportunity for those people who are ignored after their dates to call the radio station and "get help". They secretly listen in while the radio host calls their date and then grills them about what it is they didn’t like about you. The premise of the whole show is supposedly to get the couple together again for a second date.
In a recent show some poor woman had to secretly listen in while her date described how “furry” her body was. To emphasis his point, the jerk even growled like Chewbacca. One woman was told that her plastic surgery was overboard and that the permanent expression on her face was reminiscent of a dead cat. Another woman was rejected for being too fat. Her date said that her fingers looked like bananas and that he cringed when she touched him.
Nothing good can happen when you call a radio station for help with your love life. Time and time again these calls end in a public humiliation that will take years to recover from. Does the entire world need to know that you have too many guns in your apartment, or that you have a serious drinking problem? What miracle are you expecting to happen when you dig into the brain of the person who has rejected you? Take my advice and deal with your blows like the rest of us. Having your dirty laundry aired out to several million listeners will never make things better.